Meet the beetles

Wish the bees were still alive? Blame the beetles. The African beetles that is. According to The Journal, whatever that is, American and European bees are just a bunch of pussies when it comes to defending themselves. See, "African bees have ways of dealing with the beetles, but European bees do not." Basically, African bees are like little tiny Tony Sopranos. They've got baseball bats in the trunks of their little bee cars and if they don't like the looks of you, you'll wind up wearing a cement thorax and sleeping with the fishes, who will probably eat you because you are a beetle. Meanwhile here in America, our bees just let these filthy beetles walk all over them. The beetles crawl into their hives and say "Hey bees. You know, this is a dangerous neighborhood. Things can happen. Robberies, fires, MURDER. You never know when it's your turn. We're offering a little protection service though. A little monthly payment and we'll make sure nothing bad happens to you. Know what we mean?" And while the African bees would be all like "Are you talkin to me? Franco, call Giuseppe and tell him we got a problem down here," the American bees are like "GUH... okay sir um maybe... um perhaps but I don't have anything to pay you with.... mur... we are just simple honey gatherers." And then what happens? Empty hives and no apples for any of us.