Sunday, May 25, 2008

Bubble trouble

Great. The bees are dying, the food chain is collapsing, we're all doomed, and what are we doing about it? Catching bees in bubbles. Unbelievable. Here, try it yourself. It's a little game. Good times. Really fun, if you enjoy the end of all life on earth set to a really pleasant piano ballad. Yup, it's the apocalypse and you're busy playing Tetris and listening to Josh Groban. Congratulations asshole.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

The Beelocaust

Hello bee fans. It's been a while since I've updated this site. I've mostly been preparing my underground bunker for the apocalypse. You know, hoarding food and ammunition, making sure my chemical toilet is in working order... that sort of thing. After all, not a damn thing has changed since this blog started up. The bees are still dying, the collapse of all life on the planet is in the works, a loaf of bread costs twice as much as it did a year ago, and nobody seems to give a shit.
So what's in the bee news today? Let's see... there's a story about how lots of German bees were killed by fruit fly pesticides last year. Thanks Germany! First the holocaust, now this.
In better news, Pennsylvania bees seem to be hanging on alright. I don't know what's sadder about this article: that good bee news consists of "only" 27% of bees dying over the winter, or that if you want to survive the end of life as we know it, you have to move to fucking Pennsyltucky. Yeah right. I think I'd rather die with the bees than spend my last moments alive surrounded by asshole Phillies fans.
And that's pretty much where we stand. The bees are still dying, the Germans are at it again, and nobody likes Pittsburgh. The future looks bright.