Monday, August 13, 2007
They mite be giants
This is it. The thing causing all our problems. This sack of red shit, this tiny, hairy devil, this minuscule puffball of hatred, this is the Varroa mite—the thing many scientists claim is killing all the bees. How can you stop something like this? What can you do to fend of two-millimeter long mini-vampires that suck the blood of bees, the noblest of creatures—the unicorns of the insect world, if only unicorns still existed outside of Bermuda, where they can still be found in massive flocks, diving beneath coral reefs for food. I know that if I see a Varroa mite walking down the block, I will kick its ass. I don't care if it's a girl even. You know what they say in my hood? Varroa bitches get stitches. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.