Great news!

Just kidding, assholes! The news is horrible (as usual). The results are in, and surprise, surprise, for the fourth year in a row, more than a third of all bees have died over the winter. Throw in some global warming and a record-breaking oil spill and you've got yourself one hell of an apocalypse coming up. But you know as well as I do that nobody gives a shit. No one cares. People go online, read newspapers, turn on their TVs, and they hear all the bad news and they say, "man, that sucks," and then they change the channel. At best they sign some stupid email petition. Well, I don't see any petitions saving the goddamn bees, and that means I don't see any petitions saving me, you or your grandma from the oncoming collapse of the ecosystem. Oh yeah, when you're living in Central Park, maybe then you'll say, wow, that guy with the bee blog was right. He wasn't just some crazy fuck typing away on his keyboard with two fingers while wearing a burlap sack and a diaper. And hey, even if I do that sometimes, what's the big deal? Is that any crazier than you not giving a shit about your own impending doom? No, I say. I say you are the mad one, and I am the sane one. I am the bee lover. You are the bee killer.
This is angry bee guy, reporting live from Fuckyouville, NY.