So forget everything you've read on this blog. The bees are fine. They're great. I just saw a bee in my backyard this morning sitting on a flower and just obliterating an expert level sudoku. Everything is wonderful. The world is great. Just continue your merry little lives and don't even think about the bees, because if anything, there are actually too many of them. In fact, forget saving them. We need to bump a few of the stinging bastards off.
Or maybe, just maybe, these Argentinians WANT the bees dead. Did you ever think of that? No, you didn't, because you're too busy Twittering. Well let me put two and two together for you. What's Argentina's major export? Soybeans and product made from soybeans (obviously). And do soybeans need bees to pollinate them? NO, they do not. Did you get the picture yet?
Argentina, we're on to you. You want the rest of the world to ignore the dying of the bees — to think it's not real. All the while, you'll steadily increase soybean production, and when suddenly the rest of the world has nothing left to eat because the entire food chain has collapsed, suddenly it's Argentina to the rescue with your stupid soybeans and all whole bunch of bullshit soy products! Well listen up Arg-holes: tofu sucks balls and your most famous soccer player is a cheater. So you can take your fake research and shove it up your Malbec growing culos! You can't pull the wool over our eyes — even if it's organic wool made from llamas raised in the beautiful Andean foothills. We will stop your plot, we will save the bees, and you nobody will cry for Argentina.