Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Hipster bees

Oh, whoodeedoo - it says here that the hipsters in Brooklyn have caught on to the bees. Yeah, "Brooklyn Heights Councilman David Yassky wants to decriminalize beekeeping." A little too late, dickface. In case you haven't noticed it, the world has already gone to hell in a handbasket. Most people can't even read this blog entry because they were laid off and now they're living in an alley eating rocks because they can't even eat garbage because nobody can buy anything and that means nobody is throwing anything out. Oh sure, they tell you it was the housing market bubble busting. Well I'll tell you what bubble just busted: THE BEE BUBBLE! I've been saying it for years, but nobody listened, and now you're all saying, oh, the bee blog guy was right, let's build six beehives in Brooklyn and that should fix things. Yeah good luck, assholes.
Now, you may be asking, where the hell has bee blog boy been? Well, I'll tell you: none of your fat ugly business! Also, I've been building my hidden bunker to survive the coming apocalypse. Wanna know where it is? Up your ass, bee murderer! Will I be updating this blog again anytime soon? We'll see, but don't get your hopes up. I've already given up on the future of mankind.

7 comments:

jackie said...

yowza!

SG said...

Just stay away from the show "The Exterminators" unless you want to be REALLY pissed. Making money and TV whoredom from exterminating honeybees... it never ends.

Anonymous said...

Your right that the bees are dying. Good thing its easy to ship them things across the continent when a third of em die out over winter. Thing is, no ones gonna notice until its too late, your right. Which is why I would say, who cares if no ones listening to your blog? Your smart, you figured it out. Good for you. Good for us. By the end of this summer, when the fruit crops fail enough to reduce the food in the "untouchable" rich countries (North America), that's when the government intervenes....This is the worst case obviously. Maybe we won't really notice until after 2010. Either way, soon enough I would assume right?

Grow hemp. It doesn't need bees. Hemp is a complete protein, contains all the omega fatty acids (good fats), lots of iron, zinc and calcium. Bulk up on sprouting beans, like mung beans. Sprout them in water, sprouted beans have all the vitamins your body will need. You will need an added source of vitamin C to ensure your getting enough. It helps heal cuts, scratches...gun shot wounds. Research into the trees in your area that have vitamin C in their needles (evergreens) or bark.

Oh, and remember, if it so happens that the bees do make it through the tons of pesticides from the chemtrails in the sky...have your kids play in your dugout.

Anonymous said...

I must admit I am very impressed by your post,

I mean on MAY 17, 2008 you told us that we're all going to die and I am very surprised the very essence of creation has not collapsed in on itself, I am shocked to discover that the basic units of matter are still able to bond together. It's been so long since bee's have been in danger, why are we still alive?

I'll tell you why we're still alive, because your a fucking loser and bee's are stupid little creatures that cut around doing fuck all, a bit like yourself you unemployed hippie tramp. Get a job.

I bet you sit at night, dreaming about being carried through new york city on the shoulders of a huge crowd who are all applauding you, then your presented with a medal for saving bees.

Your a loser, fuck bees and fuck you.

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't keeping your own bees be a hell of a lot easier than building a bunker?

Doris Sturm said...

Wow, by the sound of these comments, we might not even need to wait till the bees are all dead because apparently humans are eagerly awaiting to bludgen each other to death over a blog...

Doris Sturm said...

oooops, sorry, I meant to say bludgeon (don't hit me - I'm just an old woman who likes honey.)