Tuesday, March 25, 2008

This just in: you're going to die

Hey fuckers — guess what? That bee problem you may have heard me mention once or twice, you know that thing where all the bees die and the entire food chain collapses and we're left eating roaches and mold? Yeah that thing. It's getting worse. It says so in this article right here, you stupid assface. The article says that 37% of bees are now dead, up from 30% from just one year ago. At this rate, all the bees will be dead sometime between 2018 and lunch. Do you realize what that means? Of course you do, because you're reading this blog. It means death. It means Mad Max and Water World and Death Race 2000 and Children of Men and The Smurfs - all those apocalyptic stories we've made up over the years, all will be realized.
But do you care? No. You just stumbled upon this page by accident. Soon you'll be back over at Perez Hilton reading about how they just discovered a week-old peanut butter and banana sandwich inside Britney Spears' vag. Go, go now. Entertainment awaits you.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is bullshit. What happened to all the critters that have names that start with letter "A"? We can't just get rid of all the "B's".

Stallone said...

Funny you should mention it, I'm following up my Rocky and Rambo sequels with Deathrace 3000 in 2009.

I'm getting back to the Bs. And by that I mean B movies of course, not bees. What the hell do I care about the bees? I'm a Hollywood movie star with more money than Fake Jesus.

Anonymous said...

I just love this blog - it's soooooo open and free and totally politically incorrect...and everybody gets to be themselves. Ever wonder what life would be like if we could all speak the way we think? There probably would be a lot less of us and maybe the bees would not be dying....hmmmm...now that's a thought!