Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The best book I've ever read

Why isn't this a best seller? Why isn't this No. 1 on the New York Times list? Why? Because nobody cares what Alison Benjamin and Brian McCallum have to say about A World Without Bees. People figure, eh, bees. Fuck em. They're small. They're bugs. I got bills to pay. I gotta bail myself out from this mortgage disaster I got myself into. I don't have any time to worry about some stupid bees. I don't even have the time to worry about other people. Nor do I want to. You know why? Because I'm a selfish fuck.
Yup, that's people for you. That's the way people think these days. So we'll just kill the bees, let em die off, and then once we're lined up at C-Town for a can of Spam since that's the only thing that will be left to eat anymore, then we'll cry. Once we're leaving the dead bodies of our starved relatives to rot in the street, then we'll say, oh, we should have listened to the bee blog! We should have listened to the bee book! But no... you don't read the blog, you don't buy the book. You don't do a damn thing until it's too late.
Laugh it up, you illiterate bastards. Go buy the new David Baldacci book. Go read the new Tom Clancy. Hey, maybe John Grisham has a good legal thriller for you. Hey, why stop there? Why not head straight to the pre-school section and get some pop-up books. Those should have just what you're looking for: a happy ending.
Asshole.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've got a book for you. It's called "FUCK YOU"

Anonymous said...

What is your ultimate goal? If it is to save the bees, you are doing more harm than good. Insulting your readers and writing poorly is not going to solve your problem. If you are going to solve your problem, you need to recruit people to your side. People on the fence won't believe you. People on your side won't support you, as you are offensive and make them look bad. I support your cause, but do it right.

SG said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SG said...

I love it. Great post. Awesome.

I'm bookmarking this blog or creating one of those "google reader" things, just so I can add your blog to it.

Found you through Temple of Sting's blog.

Margaret said...

this is potentially the best blog i've ever read.

Maegan said...

you win.

Doris Sturm said...

I loved this blog - I read it twice, might read it again because it says everything I'm thinking and if anyone's offended, well, then maybe they need to take abetter look at themselves...too many sensitive cry babies in this world. It's time to speak up, step up or shut up...way to go!

Marie said...

I knew there would be something if I typed "Oh shit the bees are dying" into Google. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I love being able to type "when all the bees die" into google and find something so amazing. Brilliantly put.

Anonymous said...

You make me want to know everything.

Anonymous said...

"Anonymous said...
I've got a book for you. It's called 'FUCK YOU'"
--------------------------
You're just saying that because you know it's all true and you dont want to admit it.

Anyway, love the blog post and I'm determined to read the book. :)
Hooray bees!

Bethany (choconaut.etsy.com)

Anonymous said...

FUCK BEES!!!

Who give a shit,

oh lets all listen to the fucking loser bee guy,

the bee's are fine, endangered species are fine, the air is fine, the water is fine, the planet is fine.

THE PEOPLE ARE FUCKED.

And good riddance to us,

All we've done is kill things.

I close by saying,

FUCK BEE'S AND FUCK YOU!!

Don't insult my intelligence, just because I don't give a shit about your cause doesn't mean I don't understand it.

Go get a job and quit worrying about blood bees honestly get a life!

Anonymous said...

This blog entry, was, well, GREAT! LOVED IT, and that was some of the best writing I've ever read.

Also, thanks for telling me about the book, I'll read it just as soon as I can.