The bees are back bitches

Oh, look who's back. It's the bee guy. No, that's not who's back. You want to know who's back. THE MOTHAFUCKIN BEES BITCH! Check this article right here that says "Honey bees are now fighting back aggressively against Varroa mites, thanks to Agricultural Research Service (ARS) efforts to develop bees with a genetic trait that allows them to more easily find the mites and toss them out of the broodnest."

Now I know what you're saying. You're saying, "But Bee Guy, I'm a stupid fuck who can't understand shit. What does that mean?" Well, let me break it down for you. Bees are little bugs. Awesome little bugs that run the world and make the things you eat by moving pollen around and helping plants bang, in essence. Varroa mites are even littler bugs. They're so little, bees consider them bugs. So they're bug bugs. And they suck dick. They grab onto bees and bite them and shit and give them diseases and totally fuck them up. And this is one of the things causing all the bees to die, and therefore leading to the end of all life on Earth except maybe for fishies.

So yeah, the bees are back, the bees are back, the bees are back in town — thanks to the help of a few smart-ass scientists who actually give a shit about the end of the world. Basically now we've got ass-kicking bees on steroids, who don't take shit from no mites. If only there was a video of these BEEtdowns in action. I don't know about you but it would be tantamount to porn for me.

I'd like to end this post by quoting Abraham Lincoln, who once said, "Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves. And furthermore, fuck yeah bro, bees RULE!"

They mite be giants

This is it. The thing causing all our problems. This sack of red shit, this tiny, hairy devil, this minuscule puffball of hatred, this is the Varroa mite—the thing many scientists claim is killing all the bees. How can you stop something like this? What can you do to fend of two-millimeter long mini-vampires that suck the blood of bees, the noblest of creatures—the unicorns of the insect world, if only unicorns still existed outside of Bermuda, where they can still be found in massive flocks, diving beneath coral reefs for food. I know that if I see a Varroa mite walking down the block, I will kick its ass. I don't care if it's a girl even. You know what they say in my hood? Varroa bitches get stitches. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.