Everybody has been talking about the bees lately. I remember when I first started my career in the newsroom, many years ago, and bees were everywhere. Flower pots. What's happened? Have they all gone on vacations? I never was one for vacationing, I'd rather be in my own home. Maybe the bees are in their own home. Why do we consider a hive their home? Isn't it their office?There's a lot of talk about who is going to win the next election. In baseball batters get three strikes and are then considered out. Have the bees recieved their third strike? Pants. I've seen a lot of silly stuff in my life. But missing bees is pretty silly. Of course, we've all misplaced something once or twice. But three times... and you're out.I'm Andy Rooney for the Holy Shit the Bees Are All Dead Blog.
4 comments:
And why do they call them "bees?" They're not letters. They're insects. And what are insects anyway? Are they really "in" anything? I know that bees are sometimes in flowers (do they really "flow"?). Bees also make honey. I don't know why they do that. If I could make something, I'd make gold. Maybe they're just not that smart. And if they're not smart, why are we so worried about them disappearing?
Is this 60 minutes? Or was that an hour ago? How many minutes do we have until the bees are back? I'd say around 60 minutes. Hello?
Back in my day there was a saying: Mind your own beeswax. I have no idea what this means. Why did people say that? Why do people say anything? If I had things my way, nobody would ever talk. What is there to say? Hi, how are you? How are you doing? Nobody really cares about these things. I know I don't. We should just all sit in the dirt and eat grass like monkeys until we die. That's the way things used to be at least, back when I was young before we evolved opposable thumbs.
When I was a kid you could buy two bees for a nickel. Now, it seems like you can't even by one bee. I went to the local corner store to buy bees. They're all made of honey, but the man behind the counter said he never sold bees. I find that hard to believe. Maybe he should have stayed in his own country. Where are the bees? Well, don't ask an immigrant at a corner store. When I was a kid....?
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