Primetime BV (beelevision)

So they're finally listening to us. Tonight prime time telvision is all about the bees. First we've got 60 Minutes the No. 1 news program in America and possibly even the entire Earf covering Colony Collapse Disorder at 7:00. Then following that up at 8:00, on PBS Nature is airing a frightening special titled Silence of the Bees. Yeah, they all laughed at me when I said we were all going to die, but now look. NOW LOOK AT THEM!!! Running in fear! Fools! I know all! I am the bee master! The bee oracle! Look upon my bee knowledge and weep!
Really though, tune in tonight to see what the fuck we are doing about all this and whether we're going to die this year or next year.

Nothin buzzin

It's been a while since the last update, bee-lovers. That's because little has changed. There are still plenty of reports of confused beekeepers and their dead hives, and yet no one seems to be doing anything about it. This apathy hasn't just killed the bees. It's killed me. I'm dead inside. And soon I'll be dead outside, when we run out of food. But who cares anymore? Who even reads this beeblog? Why even bother to wake up in the morning, come your hair and go to work? We're all going to die, even if the bees recover. There is no point to life, no reason to existence. Life is pain and suffering. The bees know. You can see it in their eyes. Their little, beady bee eyes. They know, nothing lasts forever, not even cold November rain.

Blind as a bee

No wonder the bees can't find their ways back home. Just look at this picture of a bee's eye. It's got all kinds of stuff in it. I don't know if that's pollen or what but if that was me, I know I couldn't see shit bro.

Bees deserve better

At first glance it seems that these very kind bees are happily giving children a ride. But let's look a bit closer. This bee up front, sure, he's smiling, but how about that look in his eyes? Staring back wearily at the children who devilishly laugh at his torment, he is barely able to conceal the revulsion, contempt and despair he feels toward mankind for enslaving him and his brethren. Those poor bees, forced to wear make-up and bow ties and impaled upon steel rods, carrying screaming brats in circles, day after day. It's a horror no one—man or bee—should be made to bear.
Bears on the other hand clearly deserve all that and worse.

He's just allergic

It's really not as bad as it looks.

Freebees

A truck carrying 13.7 million bees done gots into an accident today. The truck rolled over freeing millions of wonderful, sweet, innocent bees. Fly away my children, away from the disease spread to you by mankind. Fly away and heal, then make our food before we die. Then we will reward you by making soap in your likeness, which we will use to lotion up our women's boobies in the shower. That is the highest honor our society can give you, little buzzing friends, and you shall receive it in plenty if you succeed.

Bee war

After recent bee findings, NY Senator Chuck Schumer wants to halt the importing of Australian bees since they seem to have the Israeli bee AIDS. Yeah, good job genius. Now that every bee in the U.S. is infected with Australian Israeli bee death syndrome, now we can stop importing them. Now is a great time for that. That's like putting on a bullet proof vest after you've been shot. That's like putting on a condom after you just had sex. That's just like protecting your bees from a virus they already have by waging economic warfare on Australian beekeepers. Well, all I can say for sure is that this will certainly have a boomerang effect when it comes to American beekeepers. Actually I just wanted to say boomerang since I'm talking about Australia. Koala bear kangaroo Foster's Crocodile Hunter stingray Dundee wallabee platypus dingo mate.