Bee chips

It's been a while but the world is still falling apart like I said it would so all is good. That is all is bad, but in terms of me being right about the bees dying and causing a chain reaction of misery and suffering for all of Earth, all is good. Anyway, the BBC says they're putting microchips on bees to track them now. This could be good because maybe this research could actually help solve the bee death problem that you've all forgotten about. But it could be bad because, if I was a bee and I was already dying from some weird disease then I probably wouldn't want some asshole stapling a mini computer to my back, especially considering that I only weigh one thousandth of an ounce or whatever.

Planet bee? Not for long at this rate.

Out of sight out of mind, that's the American way right. You have a problem, it makes headlines for a few days or maybe even weeks, but eventually we get bored and then it goes away, even if the problem itself doesn't. Well guess what — the bee problem isn't going away, but the bees are. Just look at this: bee death problems and France and Italy. Oh, the problem isn't gone, even thought our attention spans are. You think we live on a bee planet? Well, we do. A planet run on bees. But they're not laughing. They're not smiling. They're dying! Dying, you stupid careless fucks! And the rest of us will follow soon along with the entire food chain if we don't do something about it! But nooooooo, what's on Entertainment Tonight? What's on E? What's on Perez Hilton? That's all you care about, you selfish fuckers. You don't deserve what the bees give you! They work hard all day, all night, all mid morning, while you're sitting on your fat fleshy ass surfing the web and planning your time share, and all they ask for is a little concern when they're experiencing a mystery holocaust that's probably your fault to begin with. But that's too much. One precious second of your shriveled brain's time is just not available, even if it means the death of all life on Earth. Enjoy your planet now while you still can, you bloody wankers.

These boots are made for the apocalypse

Hey bee-lovers. It's been a while since the last update, but here's some major news for you: all the bees are going to die and we're still as fucked as ever. Yup, nothing much has changed. The world is going to end, the economy is collapsing, the food chain is being dismantled, and guess what - still no bees. And nobody cares. Yeah, sure, put on your little bee boots and run around! Do a little dance! HEY LOOK AT ME AND MY BEE BOOTS! THEY'VE GOT LITTLE EYES AND LITTLE WINGS, JUST LIKE REAL BEES!!! And just like the real bees of today, they're inanimate objects that can't do anything — like make apples or corn or other food products that stupid boot wearing bastards like us need. Laugh it up boot people. Stick your feet knee-deep in the pits of your own doom.

Happy Holidays

Happy holidays! Hey, look what I got you! It's a disgusting bee ornament! Well, not really a bee. It's a person thing with a yellow dishrag on her head, wearing a bee dress, black and white stockings and elf shoes. She does have wings though, so maybe she is some sort of bee-themed fairy. She's also holding onto a bee-colored umbrella and making some weird puffing face. She's actually pretty frightening. Imagine if someone rang your doorbell and you opened the door and a life-size version of this was just standing there, silently puffing away. But anyway, Merry Christmas, fuckface.

Nice thorax

Wow, this bee has a HUGE ass. I mean, if you're down with that kind of thing, this has to be just another reason to care about saving the bees. Of course nobody does. No one cares. People are happy to let the bees die. And this blog. One one reads it. It doesn't matter. The bees don't mean shit. Fine. Let it all go. Let it all rot. You don't want some fat hot sexy bee ass? Fine with me. You want to sit idly by reading Perez Hilton while the food chain breaks down? Go for it. Happy holidays, assholes.

Bee beats beetle

As recently reported by the BBC, a bee was seen battling a beetle in Bristol. Apparently, the bee beat the beetle, but barely. Despite putting up a brave bit of boxing in the bout, the brunt of the beetle's blows were beaten back by the bee's brutal bites. The backwash of the bee-beetle brouhaha was beneficial to the bountiful bourgeois, for the big bee blight has been bringing bulletins of badnes and bereavement. Bonjour, bitches.

Let's bee friends

Hello bee lovers. It's been a while? Why? Because I have been distraught. I have been lying on the floor in a pile of my own filth and tears, wallowing in misery, because, despite coverage on 60 Minutes, nobody cares about the bees. Oh, woe is bee, woe is bee! Yet, at the moment of my greatest despair, someone knocked upon my virtual door, entered my sanctum of sadness, and lifted me up out of the doldrums. Who is this person? Janine. What does she do? Loves bees. LOVES BEES! You hear that bee lovers? We are not alone! For Janine runs the mighty blog Temple of Sting where she too wails about the dying bees, the inaccuracies of the mass beedia and other bee-related topics. Yes, she seems to occasionally post about Sufjan Stevens and other things that are not bees, but overall Janine is a bee-blogging hero. Gaze upon her glorious bee socks (actually not hers) and rejoice!