Bee beats beetle

As recently reported by the BBC, a bee was seen battling a beetle in Bristol. Apparently, the bee beat the beetle, but barely. Despite putting up a brave bit of boxing in the bout, the brunt of the beetle's blows were beaten back by the bee's brutal bites. The backwash of the bee-beetle brouhaha was beneficial to the bountiful bourgeois, for the big bee blight has been bringing bulletins of badnes and bereavement. Bonjour, bitches.

Let's bee friends

Hello bee lovers. It's been a while? Why? Because I have been distraught. I have been lying on the floor in a pile of my own filth and tears, wallowing in misery, because, despite coverage on 60 Minutes, nobody cares about the bees. Oh, woe is bee, woe is bee! Yet, at the moment of my greatest despair, someone knocked upon my virtual door, entered my sanctum of sadness, and lifted me up out of the doldrums. Who is this person? Janine. What does she do? Loves bees. LOVES BEES! You hear that bee lovers? We are not alone! For Janine runs the mighty blog Temple of Sting where she too wails about the dying bees, the inaccuracies of the mass beedia and other bee-related topics. Yes, she seems to occasionally post about Sufjan Stevens and other things that are not bees, but overall Janine is a bee-blogging hero. Gaze upon her glorious bee socks (actually not hers) and rejoice!

Happy Halloween

Nice costume, asshole. It looks like a bra made of yarmulkes.
Die.
Die and rot in a beeless hell.

Keep laughing

No one seems to take the bee death thing seriously. Despite two prime time specials on the matter airing this past Sunday, this is the response we get from the average American: "HEY! Bees sure am funny!" Well, that's just great. We're all gonna die, but "Look at me, I'm in a bee costume doin a funny bee dance with my spouse! HAW HAW HAW!" The only living thing in this photo that seems to get the direness of the situation is the dog in the bee costume. While his owners party like it's 1999 and his dog pal sits there like a drooling retard flower, he knows what's really going on. Even his little antennae are drooping sadly. Oh and the grass knows too. The grass knows all.

Primetime BV (beelevision)

So they're finally listening to us. Tonight prime time telvision is all about the bees. First we've got 60 Minutes the No. 1 news program in America and possibly even the entire Earf covering Colony Collapse Disorder at 7:00. Then following that up at 8:00, on PBS Nature is airing a frightening special titled Silence of the Bees. Yeah, they all laughed at me when I said we were all going to die, but now look. NOW LOOK AT THEM!!! Running in fear! Fools! I know all! I am the bee master! The bee oracle! Look upon my bee knowledge and weep!
Really though, tune in tonight to see what the fuck we are doing about all this and whether we're going to die this year or next year.

Nothin buzzin

It's been a while since the last update, bee-lovers. That's because little has changed. There are still plenty of reports of confused beekeepers and their dead hives, and yet no one seems to be doing anything about it. This apathy hasn't just killed the bees. It's killed me. I'm dead inside. And soon I'll be dead outside, when we run out of food. But who cares anymore? Who even reads this beeblog? Why even bother to wake up in the morning, come your hair and go to work? We're all going to die, even if the bees recover. There is no point to life, no reason to existence. Life is pain and suffering. The bees know. You can see it in their eyes. Their little, beady bee eyes. They know, nothing lasts forever, not even cold November rain.

Blind as a bee

No wonder the bees can't find their ways back home. Just look at this picture of a bee's eye. It's got all kinds of stuff in it. I don't know if that's pollen or what but if that was me, I know I couldn't see shit bro.